"Hi, I'm calling about your ad seeking a certified cocktease?"

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Despite the rumors, the USCG will not be certifying these as flotation devices.

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A rare, shiny, genuine, certified aussie slut waiting impatiently, certificate not included - [vid], [pic], [rate], [kik], [gfe] and [pty] as well as [oth]er physical items - [fet] friendly

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